Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Peace, Love and Mommyhood (or, how I got to meet some of the coolest moms around!)

A little over a year ago, I joined a mommy group.. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made! I get to see my daughters eyes light up when she sees her little friends, and this mommy's eyes light up a bit too to see the ladies I have bounced things off of, complained to, laughed with, shared with and otherwise have grown to love!

When 'applying' to this group, they wanted you to give a rundown of who you are, what you are like and why you would be a good fit in this group.. I thought some of you would be interested to see what I wrote.. It sums me up in just a few paragraphs, and I love reading this email over and over to see where my head was at when I was still a SUPER NEW mommy!


Hi J and D.. I wanted to reply to your message.. 

Yes, a four month old does make it difficult to have any sort of 'normal' conversation.. it's amazing to me how loud and distracting a baby so small really is!

Anyway, yes this group does sound a lot like something I am interested in.. I will divulge a little more into my lifestyle now that I am not limited by character amounts.. Hehe...My husband and I are the first of our 'friends' to have a child, so it goes without saying that I am finding myself having less and less in common with my friends. I am the youngest of 8 children in a blended family, and I have always been the one who was told I marched to the beat of my own drummer.. I rarely did what was expected of me, and often let my emotions and feelings make decisions for me, rather than doing what was considered 'the norm'.. Because of this, I had many acquaintances in my life, but few very close friends who totally understood my way of thinking.

 I finally found the perfect husband ( most of the time anyway, after all whose perfect?!).. he's a musician, a little bit of a geek, likes to cook and eat all sortsa weird foods, loves to camp and hike, and shares my political values, and together we finally found a group of friends (through my playing on an all female roller derby league) that we were able to click with... We are however what I call the 'test couple'.. we are the first ones to do everything.. buy a home, get married, have a baby. And for all the well-meaning people out there, basically since I have had the baby I have seen my friends a little more than a handful of times, and although I am not placing blame on my friends for not understand that I cannot just drop everything and go out for a drink, it was a little disheartening to finally have made friends who share so many of our likes and values and to now be the odd men out.. 

Anyway, when I came across the description of your group each line made my eyes light up and my heart jump a little bit more with every paragraph.. Could it be that there are people nearby who also have children who might think a little more outside of the box, or at least won't judge me for doing so? I was so excited!

Although I am very close to my family and couldn't live without them, as previously stated I am the 'black sheep' (hey, there's always one!) and many of the things and ways I plan to raise my daughter don't necessarily coincide with my LARGE families beliefs or customs, so in my eyes it was fate/kismet that I came across this group when I was really beginning to feel a little lonely and a lot like an outsider.. Also, I totally understand your discontent with other mommy groups, and as a matter of fact I was leery at first even joining meet up because I watch as my sister struggled with another group who were very cliquey and backstabby and she has pretty much lost all faith in mommy groups and has chosen to make friends and playmates other ways, so her warnings to me were very well heeded..

However after reading about your group I decided to give this one, and one other a try. I feel I want to expose Isabel to as much as I can while I am still able to.. I want to not only meet people for me, but I want her to be around other kids, and even though she is little, I would love for her to have a mini group of friends to be excited to see and have fun with all while being given the opportunity to grow and learn.. 

OK, I am done rambling now! Have a great night and I look forward to possibly meeting you ladies soon.

Take care, Danielle B.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

1 and half years of insanity, happiness, smiles, tears and the best time ever!

I remember it like yesterday the first time I heard her go from saying 'ma-ma' to 'mommy'... I also have an image burned in my mind of what her faced looked like when she grabbed and ate a lemon off of my plate at a restaurant. The time she grabbed my keys, went to the door and pretended to use them in the doorknob makes me proud to see her getting the idea of concepts, and I smile and giggle to myself if I think about the way she laughs out loud when I blow 'zerberts' on her neck..

I also remember the times days when 2 cups of coffee just don't cut it.. The guilt I felt  when I had to put on a brave face  and hold my daughter down inside the blood lab when she was getting her 12 months blood work, and then how lost it as I was was only 1 foot back out the door that I held her for 15 minutes outside my car because I just didn't want her to feel hurt.

 Teaching myself that like any other hurdle in my life, exaustion is something to overcome and work through, and not be stopped or slowed down by. How deep breathing techniques sound awesome in theory until your 15 month old is screaming, throwing her food, or just telling you quite clearly to 'stop' while trying to change their poopy and really smelly messy diaper and then you can breath all you want, but you're pretty sure that you want to just go into a room and close the door and scream and jump up and down and stomp your feel until it makes you feel better.

How my heart melts each time she leans in for a kiss, comes up behind me a hugs my legs, or when she stands on the couch yelling 'bye bye mommy' each night when I get into the car to go to work.

I love that each Holiday that I have celebrated for the past 18 months is so much more special than I ever thought, making them so much more meaningful and important.How my little family of three is the most important thing in the world to me, and how I love each minute of time I get to spend with them.

I'm amazed how a little tushie could be even cuter at 18 months (if that's possible), and equally amazed at how often that though crosses my mind... And how hilarious I find it when I see it running away from me as quickly as possible the second the diaper is off and the opportunity presents itself!

How it boggles my mind that such a tiny person can have SO much energy on such little consecutive hours of sleep...

And lastly, that this thing called love grows exponentially everyday, and that just when I think it's not possible to feel anymore love, or that my heart can't get any fuller with adoration for my baby girl, I wake up another day and it's SO much more than the day before...

Thank you for the most amazing 18 months of my life, here's to SO many more.

 xoxoxooxo Mommy love you baby girl!