Monday, August 6, 2012

When good girls go bad..


That's pretty much what I hear from the minute I wake up, until her tiny little eyelids fall closed at night. Apparently my daughters has not only learned the meaning of the word, she uses it often when I really want to hear anything but.. 

"Izzy, let's go change your diaper" "no!"
"Isabel do you want to eat?"' "nooooo"
"Isabel, don't touch that please!" "No, no, nooooooooooooooo!"

Okay okay, I guess calling her 'bad' isn't the nicest, most pc-mommy thing to do, but COME ON people!

I prayed every night for about a month prior to her 2nd birthday that she would not be a terrible two.. that the little 'moment' we had at about 18 months was the worst of it, and that the days after her 2nd birthday would be a bliss-filled cakewalk, while I scoffed at all the tantruming kids on the floors of supermarkets  reducing  their now teary-eyed and hoarse (from screaming) moms to mom-zombies whowould plead, beg and near lose their minds for just a glimpse of the child they *thought* they knew.

This was and is in fact, not the case. So, instead of just assuming that a) there is no God who would've  listened to my pleading for a well behaved child, or b) She/he was far too busy listening to the other moms with bigger and far more pressing issues, She/he decided to arm me with  books about deep breathing exercises, a night job and (lots of) wine to get through the part of my little girls life where she needs me so deeply, yet wants so intensely to express her independence that it often creates a storm between us.. Something similar to what creates a tornado; hot and cold air, running amok in the atmosphere. A strong vortex that sucks up all the energy, good and bad leaving a mess of destruction in it's wake..

Ok, so that was a little melodramatic, but you get the idea.

Who knew two-year old's were such complex little creatures? I never knew that such a strong desire for a particular outcome thwarted by an inability to complete or fulfill said desire could cause such an boiling over of emotions, (often times resulting in a display of floor exercises that could rival an Olympic athlete)? And while I feel that these moments last forever, in reality they are one just a quick moment out of my whole day, after which she is back to her sweet and loving self again.

Who knew that at the end of the day, it wouldn't matter. Each tantrum no matter how big or small isn't something we can't get through, regardless of how insane, destructive, embarrassing or over-dramatic. At the end of the day, we all put our heads down and sleep (hopefully!) and dream the day away. We cleanse our hearts and minds, and wake up again hoping that the brightness of the sun and the promise of a new day will wash away the insanity of the day before. Or at the very  least, gain the energy to deal with the craziness of yet another day with a two year old.

I am quickly learning that no one ever died from being told no (or at least, I don't think so), and me inciting a tantrum is not a question of my ability as a mother, but how I deal with it and all of the challenges of being mommy brings is. I don't expect to deal with all of them (or even 50% of them) perfectly, but I can try.

 And in the meantime, I have to start getting used to this, because I keep hearing that three is worse.. (gasp!)

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